It seems in Los Angeles that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but when you break it down, there are really only 10 guys every LA girl has dated or come across in a dating app. Whether he was in your first class in college or you swiped right on Bumble last Saturday, the following guys have definitely made it into your dating rotation.
1. The Surfer Dude
The surfer dude is the quintessential California boy and every girl’s major heartthrob at one time or another. Who doesn’t love a hot, laid back surfer guy whose only worry is catching the perfect wave and making sure he has enough money for his after-surf sesh burrito? Taking PCH to the beach three times a week while making out in the warm sand sounds like heaven on earth, but once you realize his future is as questionable as his medical marijuana card, it’s time to move on.
2. The Transplant
In the land where dreams are made, your dating list wouldn’t be complete without a foreigner trying to make it big in the city of angels. Tranplants can be a hit or a miss and it all depends on how long they’ve been in LA. You could hit the jackpot and land a sweet, Midwestern boy who came to LA to help expand the family business. The crapshoot, however, gives you a 40 year old actor who has scored one Colgate commercial and works nights as a bartender at a sketchy dive bar on Sunset Blvd.
3. The Artist
Some might think that the artist is like #1 or #2. But the artist is a whole different breed. The artist might have some of the attributes as previously listed, but this guy has a bit of a screw loose. Whether he’s a musician, a painter, a sculptor or a singer, his art is his life! He eats, sleeps and breathes art and your love affair could become his latest muse or his biggest road block. Be prepared for a tumultuous love affair full of passionate ups and downs.
4. The Entreprenuer
This boyfriend goes by many names. Some call him the investor, the businessman, a suit, the yuppie… Regardless of his title, they all have three things in common: they love dressing sharp, sporting expensive brands and name-dropping. You’ll find the entrepreneur at the typical Westside watering hole during happy hour. The perfectly bleached teeth and free cocktails will keep you entertained, until about three dates in when you realize he can’t talk about anything besides marketing strategy and who he ran into at the Hamptons last summer.
5. The Gym Rat
#Doyouevenliftbro? You probably ran into the gym rat when you renewed your gym membership thanks to your New Year’s resolution kick. Gym rat looks good, smells questionable and makes sure you feel undeniably bad about your gym habit (or lack thereof), making you hit the weights five times a week. Gym rat guy talks about the latest protein supplements and you’re not quite sure what he does for an actual living. But what he lacks in a proper 9-5 job he makes up for in his crazy, sexy, bulging physique. It’s only after his thousandth gym selfie that you finally realize this guy might think he himself is prettier than you!
6. The Intellectual
Chances are you probably locked-lips with this deep thinker in college. He’s the one who stole your heart with that really insightful Proust quote during your Intro to Philosophy course. This guy is well-read, is up to date on politics and constantly criticizes the shallow intellect of Los Angeles. You can thank him for his ability to amp up your vocab, but you’ll pass on the know-it-all blatherskite.
7. The Bro
If you were lucky enough, you dated this frat bro in college before he graduated to just regular bro. The Bro prioritizes his life in the following ways: Friends, booze, family, sports, job, girlfriend, more booze. The bro is one hell of a good time on Friday night. Just don’t expect breakfast in bed with his 6-day/week hangover streak.
8. The Hippie
Not to be confused with the Surfer dude, the hippie is a dreadlock wearing, environment-saving, festival attending nature-lover with a plan. His plan, while slow-paced, is well-meant and positive. He wants to teach the world to be self-sustaining and peaceful and what girl doesn’t love a man with a loving mission? His compassion is endearing, but if you hear one more speech about GMOs or rising water levels, you’ll head to the nearest In-N-Out and shove a burger in his vegan mouth.
9. The Hipster
Unless you are a hipster, this is the one you hate to admit you secretly adored. The hipster has experimented with his hairstyle at least twice during your relationship and his wardrobe is constantly evolving. You can thank the hipster for your newfound love of Bon Iver and you can’t drink roasted cherry and rosemary bourbon without fondly reminiscing of that offbeat bar you went to that one Tuesday night. There’s nothing wrong with the hipster, per se, but keeping up with the latest trends, like the Pacific Northwest handlebar mustaches or the vintage bowler hats, is exhausting.
10. The Clubber
Part bro, part entrepreneur, part crazy. This guy loves his DJ headliners as much as he loves taking selfies AT concerts with those DJ headliners. This guy spends all of his time researching the hottest tunes and all of earnings on festivals, concerts, and drugs which could be fun… for awhile. After your 5th Coachella experience and all the Molly you could ever dream of, all you want is a guy who will take you to a fancy dinner. Instead, he’s waving light sticks in your face and sweating to Tiesto’s latest #1 single.
Honorable mentions are: the Ghoster, the European, the Fashion-Blogger and the straight up Douche (these men could be sprinkled within 1-10, so good luck finding those gems!)
More often than not, your current BF is a mixture of the bunch. And that’s what keeps it interesting! So keep flash dating, swiping right and hooking up, ladies. ‘Cause an ex-bae is only as good as the cringe-worthy stories you tell your girlfriends over cocktails.
About the Author
Sebrin Elms is a newlywed, travel fanatic, book lover, champagne connoisseur and kitty mama. When she’s not globe-trotting or wearing flower crowns, she’s probably writing on her blog, The Clumsy Traveler.
You must be logged in to post a comment.